Another day, another announcement of a totally unoriginal franchise reboot to milk the coffers of lazy movie studios. This time, the buzz is around a reboot (of the reboot) of Indiana Jones. And rumor has it Bradley Cooper may be gun-slinging his way into the role.
While Cooper seems like a fine choice, we have another crazy brilliant thought: why not recast a woman as Indy? Seriously, hear us out!
1. Indiana is already a gender-neutral name
We know movie execs don't like to endure the struggle of coming up with stuff that hasn't been done before, so let's make it easy: they can just call the woman . . . Indiana Jones. I mean, it's clearly not male or female. Or for that matter, entirely rational. Alternatively, they can select another nonsensical state name, like "Montana" or "Kentucky." Then it'll be fresh with minimal effort!
2. There are no awesome female action stars . . . like, none
James Bond. Indiana Jones. Rambo. All dudes. Where are our heroes of iconic action franchises? There's Katniss Everdeen, of course, but while she's definitely fierce, she doesn't headline the Hunger Games films. Plus, she's dealing with dark dystopian child murder rather than good frilly action fun. And don't even get us started on Lara Croft, whose scantily clad tomb raiding showcases her treasures far more than those of any ancient civilization. We need a lady who can return those artifacts to their rightful museum homes!
3. There are lots of cool ladies who could do it
The wish list is long on this. Emma Stone has the dorky charm down pat. Jennifer Lawrence has proven she can embody a strong, whip-smart protagonist. Beyonce would just be . . . weirdly amazing. But our top pick—and totally marketable option—is Meryl Streep. Yes, Meryl Streep. She's smart, cultured, bad-ass and utterly delightful, just like the original Indy. Plus, it's strangely easy to picture her rocking a fedora in the Middle East. Are we right?
4. It would be original and stuff
If nothing else, casting a woman would help make the franchise feel truly fresh and different, rather than yet another tired retread of something that was original decades ago.
Obviously, this will probably never happen. But a girl can dream. Can't we?
Image: Wikimedia Commons
